Pause in the act of binging
My divine readers, this is a letter I needed myself and because of this, I want to share it with you.
For many years I binged in determination to run from my pain, avoid stillness and repeat the known patterns of my past. I have both hated and loved myself in this act. I have both cried and rejoiced in the late nights of eating. I have found both comfort and disconnection. But most of all, I have found radical self-acceptance for all the parts too myself that long for a big hug, yet were scared to ask.
Beautiful souls, binging is not an act of hate as many deem it to be, nor is it scary or wrong, in fact, binging is a beautiful act of radical kindness to nourish self in a way no one or thing can. What I mean by this is that as a child the first from of nourishment we recieved was from our mothers breasts. It was the first thing that kept us alive and is the only thing that continues to keep us alive (food that is). Only, somewhere we have forgotten the undeniable truths that food is nourishment, but so is sacred space, divine rest and radical openess with loved ones. These truths are also profane elements too nourishment.
I am not here to tell you to stop binging (ever), nor am I here to take away your nourishment from food. Food is medicine. I know this in all cells of my body and nothing will ever change this - ever. For example, chocolate can draw one straight into a version ecstasy, vegetables can reverse cancers and medicinal mushrooms can reset the whole hormonal system. Binging can also take away the temporaiy pain that any given moment may have issued.
Binging can also be a big sign by the body that it screaming it is in a state of deprivation/depletion. This may be a depletion factor from nutrients, deprivation of body weight (being low) or even deprivation/depletion in freedom to experience joy, a friendship, relationship, career circumstance, housing situation, financial state, etc. My last binging breakout was at the time my body was yearning for a relationship. The moment I acknowledged this my binging left once I embraced male companionship. In the past I have denied myself food, undernourished my cell and felt lost in this world.
While I accept binging and acknowledge it comes from time to time to visit, I have created more and more space between episodes (9 months was my last time frame) which declares my radical vulnerability to look at it and action.
This is a note for you when you catch yourself before a binge or during a binge.
“Divine sister of golden light, I am here with you, nourishing you and choosing you. You too are a beautiful vessel of bountiful love. I too have endless love for you. In this moment I know the air may seem windy, confusing and complicated, but I guarantee you this is only a moment in time. It is time for you to come down to me and feel me. Take a moment to hear me and be in me. Can you feel this? This is love, you are love. From this space lets give you the power to lead yourself. You are I, I am choosing radical love for myself, my loved ones and for life, I am choosing to love myself. I love myself. In this moment I have come back down to earth to experience joy and greater depths of love. For this reason I practice opening to sacred space, divine rest and radical openess. I also choose to nourish my areas of deprivation and/or depletion. I am choosing myself in this very moment. I choose life.”
From this space I welcome you to
Be in your sacred space creating, crafting and rejuvinating in activities you love such as dance, painting, beading, nature walks, ocean watching, face masks,
Relish in divine rest through meditation, reading, a nap, hypnosis, beach basking or a bath itself.
Be radically open to your loved ones and network with your friends and family whats truly going on inside your mind and body.
Dive into areas of your life you feel deprivation and/or depletion. For example, your soul may be yearning for deeper relationships, more targeted time towards your hobbies, greater space for movement, a more alighned career or foods that are richer in nutrients.
Beautiful sister, I want to remind you that binging is not a naughty or bad act. It is okay. The first time my boyfriend told me this I was shocked to my core. Later, I learned to love these beautiful acts and see them in a lense or love. This allowed me to remove all guilt, shame and pain.
I now invite you to take a sacred pause and rechoose in this moment.
